I am not "traditional." Let's get that out of the way up front.
I tried BDSM. My wife and I did so together. I still do not completely comprehend that lifestyle, much in the way I do not at all understand the whole "hotwife" thing. I've had women in real life try to, without consent, dominate me and my life choices, my mother among them. Thus, I submit to no one. Ever. No one.
I have no idea why you felt compelled to tell me that you have this "high-stress, high-paying job." And a horse farm. Bravo. Fucking hoo-rah. Despite my education, I have always had high-stress, low-paying jobs. Was it to feel better about yourself? I just endured five days in Tucson listening to Rotarians (my wife among them) talk about their over-achievment, and that of their children.
I have no patience with overachievers. Bragging makes me sick.
I know I need help. Sadness, depression, and chaos are not OK.
I do not have that perfect divine marriage. I never will. I have to deal with that. One way for me to do so is to stop reading about it.